Maggie Shnayerson

This, ladies and gents, is what those at cultastic religious compounds just shy of their wedding dates (read: 12-year-olds) sport under those oh-so-cute-Laura-Ingalls getups. And now you too can get your very own sacred temple garment at fldsdress.com! Members of the FLDS, the polygamous Mormon offshoot group run over by the State of Texas in April for maybe having sex with a few too many teens, have started their own online store. E-commerce is for everyone! Never mind that what looks like an oversized onesie above is typically considered sacred by adherents, who “may be offended by public discussion of the garments,” according to, well, common knowledge and Wikipedia. One guy who tried selling his sacred underoos on eBay a few years ago had his listings yanked by the Internet giant after complaints from the Church of Latter Day Saints. Don’t worry, they replaced his listings once they discovered that selling union suits online isn’t illegal in any state, divine or not.